Fear of rejection

REJECTION 

What is rejection to you??

According to google rejection is and idea, or proposal that is refused or declined or dismissed. People have their own interpretation of rejection.

When I hear rejection, I  hear weakness, disappointment, and failure.  

We are all human, therefore are not perfect, but there are people like myself who have trouble being rejected.

I am not referring to being romantically rejected.  I am stating fear of rejection in important aspect of life. 

Rejection from college, rejection from a dream job, being denied from a loan and especially being denied as a person. 

These type of rejection are the the ones that lead to insecurities. They lead to self destruction.

People should not let these feelings get in our head. They need to acknowledge that they are afraid. People have to overcome these fears to be able to live free.  Instead of accepting is situation as being rejected, people should take embrace the rejection as a lesson. Take it as in receiving another opportunity  to try again, with rejection people can actually learn and grow. 

I wish I can take my own advise, I am still trying to figure it all out myself...just one day at the time.

what are your opinions??

Happy Reading!! 

VQ

Good Old Days and The Little things

I surveyed my Facebook friends recently asking them What are old little things they miss or no longer see today? It could be a romantic gesture, or just memories of what they miss.

Some quickly commented with response such as  love notes, Picnics,  outdoor movies, quality time away from phone, pen pals, riding bike with friends, sipping in quarter juices, payphone, writing/ sending letters, poetry, calling people at home, these are some of many Responses.

As I read all these comments I kept reminiscing  about the good old days.

I  shared that I miss visiting people at home and having face to face conversations.
I recall visiting family and friends without giving them a notice in advance, and being welcomed in.  I remember setting dates to actually hangout in  peoples home to past time, dance or even sit to converse about what's occurring in life.

I remember calling people to simply ask how was their day which led to hours long conversations.

Don't misinterpret me, I'm  happy for technology such as phone and internet its convenient to all. It kept us connected in the sense that we're in touch, but we aren't as united as we were, once upon a time.
Why did we stop doing things we like?

People  no longer write letters, they E-mail where's the excitement in E-mails? Some people don't even E-mail they send long text. LoL
People no longer meet up to just hang out in in front of buildings, at the mall or ride bikes, nowadays  hanging out  means to actually do something for example go rock climbing or wine while paint.

I also have no issues with emailing and doing different type of activities, but I can't stop wondering 

why people no longer interact they day we once did?

Hmm, I would like to hear people opinions. Why the change? Do we change?  Or Why do we let the world change?

I would love to bring back pen pals, or how about payphones, as one Facebook friend suggested. I miss the payphones, especially when my cellphone is not charged.

What would you bring back or redo?

Happy Reading
VQ

Get Things Done!

I recently was introduced to a YouTube video by Mel Ribbons which inspired me to stop procrastinating and to start getting things done.
It doesn't matter what the case can be, stressed, depressed, money issue or even a broken relationship, if you want to better any aspect in your life just simply get it done.

Mel Ribbons shares her story and method of how she overcame hard times. I was so surprise how accurate she her information was about the human brain and interactions within oneself.
She created a five second rule in which I will be trying out, as well as some other suggestion from here video. I was so amazed I check out a few of her videos.
I am blogging about her not to promote her, but because I believe that she can be  helpful. I want to spread the word and what better way then to blog. :)
She also have a book, I believe it called 5 Second Rule, but I can be wrong I haven't had a change to look into the book.
But I do know about her You Tube videos check her out!!

Happy Viewing !!
VQ

A Mommy and Her Me Time

Most mothers, especially mothers with multiple kids are always busy, full of responsibility and are stressed barely make time for themselves. Well, women this has to change! 

We deserve some me time!

For mothers who are not familiar with the term "me time" 
Me time for a mother means when she is free from her the children and is selfish for a period of time. Some time is for a few hours, a day or maybe a weekend. "Me Time" is all yourself and your needs.
Some mothers on her free time still care for the household, for example catching up with chores. This is not me time!
Me time is when the mother is completely selfish.

She pampers herself, hang out with friend, do all she wants that she can't when the kids are around.
She can take this time and be alone, have some quite time, binge any show she desires to watch.

or maybe go on a romantic date.

When I have me time it depends on what mood I am.
Sometimes I am in the mood to get dolled up and have a girls night. Just me getting pretty reminding myself I deserve to be pampered. Just me hanging out , having dinner, drinks and listening to music forgetting for a night of all responsibilities. Just being me and enjoy the world.
Then there's other time that I just want to stay home take long baths, slow music, sip on some wine and just relax... lay in bed to catch up on well needed rest...do puzzles or catch up on shows I missed.
These are my "me time". 

I very much enjoy having me time. I believe mothers should make time for themselves. It can help release a lot of stress.  It has helped me keep sane, I'm pretty sure it will help others.

I wonder if there's other mothers out there  who have me time??

Hmm, I guess fathers can have me time too. Especially single fathers. It is not easy being a parent, but we all cope in different ways.

Me time is definitely a must!
Hope mothers out there reading my blog can make time. Give me tips, what are your me time like?

Happy Reading

VQ

Daily Routine of a Single Parent.

First let me begin by  expressing that this post and all post are my point of you. There is no correct way of parenting, therefore I am not always right and I am still learning as a parent.

I also want to point out that I  wrote "single parent" in the title because its goes for both mothers and father. There are terrific single fathers out in the world that deserve to be acknowledged and applauded.

I want to acknowledge that for most people being a parent is a choice, therefore we should conquer our parenting responsibilities with pride, even if  we are at our worse moments.

Being a parent is not a easy task. There is the cleaning, the feeding, the teaching, the discipling, the worrying, they are expensive and much more. Some say being a parent is a like having a full job, I have to agree but I believe it's the best job I ever have.  When co-parenting and living in the same household all these task may seem simple, since both parents are in constant communication and helping each other. On the other hand a single parent household, I want to be clear here because I am co-parenting but the children father does not leave with us, he has them every other weekend. He is a great father, we communication to a certain extent, but I consider myself  single parent since the children live with me.
So, in a single parent household all these task may be more complex. It take more effort and time.
All parents have their own method of parenting, they have their proper routine. I am going to describe my daily routine beginning at bed time.

On a weekdays Sunday night thru Friday basis. I always ask the kids to take the clothes out the night before so just in case we are running late it's already on step to getting ready.  I try to get the kids to bed by 8:30 - 9PM. I say try because by the time they actually fall asleep its around 10:30PM.
At this time is when I like to clean, pick up and get the house ready for the next day. But while I get things together and the kids should be sleeping there is the "I'm thirsty", or "I have to go to bathroom" interruptions, therefore bedtime gets delay.
On a good night sleep, I like to wake up around 6 to 6:30AM. I try to wake the kids up by 6:30AM  so that we have enough time to get ready. If they are hungry I will prepare a quick breakfast but they  usually eat in school.
I then drive them to each of their schools, and continue to work.
after the eight hour shift, I pick them up from their after school program. A few years back we would go home and get ready to go to football practice, for about two hours before going home to relax. They are not currently in any sport so now we go straight home unless I have to run some errands. While I begin dinner the kids would continue the homework that wasn't completed at the after school program.
Then we eat I check the homework, quiz them if they have any up coming tests, communicate and watch a bit of television if there is time, than proceed to getting ready for the next day.

Doesn't seem like a lot right? ;D  oohh it is!

On the weekends it gets better, and easier. I mean there is a lot more attention given to the children since they're not in school, but its more relaxing. There isn't a time frame set to get things done.
In the weekend the day begins whenever we wake up. (unless its daddy's weekend, I like to drop them off early so that they can spent time with their father and siblings. plus I get me time :))
So like I mention, the weekend begins when we wake up. Sometime the kids let me sleep in  a bit while the sneak to the living room to watch TV. ;D.
Most time our weekend is for laundry. I like to do most of the chores like cleaning on Friday nights, so that we can actually enjoy the weekend. But most likely weekend is laundry day. I let the kids choose the day either Saturday or Sunday. I like to make them feel that they can have options. Also with the food, I like to ask what they want to eat. Weekends we have breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Sometime they help with the cooking, My kids can make some delicious Crepe!!!  I also like to make the weekend family days. We have activities, or movie night. We like to binge shows, it the best ! or play video game until we can complete the game. :) Yea I can be a big kid with them but these are the happy memories they will cherish.

Then Sunday night back to the same routine.

It is important that even if we have a routine, there is patience shared  and love spread. Sometime, and I know this for a fact, since I do it, we forget that the children are only kids and we expect them to get things done the first time. As they get older they will get things done, but we have to remember that they are still kids and we are the adults. We have to be there to remind them and support them in every aspect of life. If they are wrong we teach, and if they are right, we must praise them so they can continue to do good.
In this generation I see children acting like adults and its sad. I am guilty of this. My child sometime acts older then his age, and I have to remind my self he is a child he will make mistake. I shouldn't be giving my children more responsibilities that they shouldn't handle. I am still growing as a parent and am willing to learn. But at the same time I feel that they need to learn at some point so the earlier I speak and teach them the more they will learn and understand.

I am one of the lucky single parents, I have the kids father around to co-parent with me. We sometime don't see eye to eye but when it comes to the kids we try to be consistent.Some say I am parenting all alone but I have to disagree sometimes,  I have to give my kids father some credit. :) I know single mothers and fathers that have to do it all on their own and it gets exhausting y'all!
I am exhausted, imaging completely solo! But I wouldn't change it for the world, my children are the reason why I breathe. I am so thankful to have them.

What  can I do to better my parenting??

What are your routine??

Lets parenting together!

Hope to hear from you. Happy reading
VQ

Whispering Sweet Nothings

The in between of  a relationship.

Isn't it amazing when someone surprisingly feels affection and is impressed by a significant other ??
When being loved unpredictably. When given attention unexpectedly. When feelings are expressed without asking for them. The feeling of being wanted spontaneously.
People should be able to feel and express these types of affection to one another.

"Babe just in case you don't know I find everything about you attractive intellectually, emotionally sexually everything" ,...These are words from my boyfriend. 

I Love Us.

As I read those words my heart beat raised. I began to blush, I couldn't stop smiling. I was in could nine for a minute. All I could think was how beautiful, attractive and smart he made me feel.  I knew he was genuine and best part, it was unpredictable.

I realized that I  have never been told words like these by anyone before without me approaching for it. For instance unless I ask questions like "what do you like about me",  I wouldn't expect a  respond.
The beauty of it is that I didn't ask him any questions. He out of the blue just expressed what he felt.
I was not only more in love with him at this instant but it was such a turn on. I wish he were next to me so that I could kiss him and express how I feel face to face.

This hasn't been the first time that he has given me a compliment. He always tells me I am beautiful. It was just a surprising to me since I wasn't expecting these words at all.

I believe that people aside from being loved should feel appreciated, wanted, and attractive. There may more feeling but these are some main feeling one should feel especially by their significant others.
A  Hey beautiful! An I love you, I miss you or even a kinky text like can't wait to touch you later.
These are words that make anyone feel esthetic! For both women and men.  People want to be needed, wanted and must importantly loved.

One should not only feel them but also express feelings in return. It goes both way!
I tell my boyfriend how handsome he is. When express how much I Love and miss him. I throw kisses at him and foul around with him especially when we are apart. I want him to feel as if I am always with him.

Showing affection is key in all relationship. But it doesn't have to only  be words. You can express affection in gifts, like sending flowers or editable arrangement ( I've gotten some... just because).
Or how about a romantic dinner or massage Or just a simple picture text will do.
It doesn't matter the gesture, the point is to show, and express true feelings to one another when its least expected. To know that there is effort pure into the relationship is just a plus.

I believe That's how one can truly know if they are actually being thought about.

What are your unexpected surprises? any affections you want to share?

Thanks for Reading!
VQ

The in Between of Forgiving and Forgetting.

Most People say in order to proceed with situation of  life its good to always forgive and forget.   I must disagree!

The fact is people really never forget. I always believe yes forgive, let it go and move on.

The fact is  that one should just embrace or figure out how to cope with the situation and let go of the past in order to be able to move on. In order to truly be happy.

I am not spefically targetting  in romantic situation. I am stating in general. In order to find happiness, one must let go of the past issues.
No need to plot revenge, no need to live in anger.
these negative action just lead to hatred and loneliness. 

I had a slightly sad life, moving around,  divorce parents, violence, betrayal all type of heartbrakes. 
I was depressed for a bit and I overcame it by letting it go. By accepting that it is in the past and nothing can be done to repair it expect to move on and continue life with either choosing to be happy or continuing to be  angry and  hateful.
I Chose to love myself. I chose to forgive.  I know that the memories are still there but  in order to  be happy i had to embrace them and let it go, So i did exactly that. Now I can say I am happy.
I Haven't  entirely reached my goals  in but  i am content. I chose to not look back to the times that I was down but to look forward and  process with future goals.

Everyone is different. People cope in their  own way, but there isn't a better feeling then to be happy. To love and to be loved.

I always say kill them with kindness. I will continue to love and treat people how Iwould want to be treated and let life take its course.

Letting go is key  to moving on.

Life is too short to be hateful. One can be living today and tomorrow be gone. So let it goo.
One say people are really over an issue when they are capable of talking about it.
If one is not,  or cry should and anger, They have yet to let it go.

Memories do come and go as people see and expirience event they had share that will remind them of the past, But they will compare how they currently feel and realize its a great feeling to chose to let go.

What are you opinions?? Do you ever really forget??

HAPPY READING!!

VQ

Life as a You Tuber

The in between of a you tuber...

Many people find success by creating You Tube. I agree to a certain extent... How about you?

Aside from gadgets such as a video cameras or phones, to become a successful You Tuber people must have time, consistency, patience and good strategy and must importantly viewers.

Time is needed because it takes time. It take time to make a video especially if people are using multiple videos. It takes time to edit the video. Editing is not an easy task, people have to precise on editing  to capture the perfect moments.

Consistency is needed to please the audience. You Tubers must stay consistent on making video and posting  the video. If a viewer like one video  they are must likely going to search for  more video from the same You Tuber. So consistency is key.

Patience is very much needed for all the above example. You Tubers need patience on  the mount of time it takes to create and edit a video. It is always needed to stay focus and especially to gain subscribers. People are  not going to subscribe  on the first view. It take time and patience. 

A good strategy  is needed over all.  There should be a goal set to accomplish for instance how many videos per week. Also the name for the channel  The video maker must be able to select good focus topic(s). They should  have a good setting in which the video will be taking place for example studio room. Also, good lighting is needed to have a clear video. The You tuber must have a strategy  to be gain viewer and subscribers. This is done by spreading the word, sharing on social media, advertising etc.

Most You Tubers go above and beyond  to make their channel stand out, But it  may takes them weeks, months, even years.

I started a You Tube Channel with my Children. We call it "What We Do".

It's about having family time, and things to do with the children. I wanted to show the world that even though were are busy parent we still have to make time for our children before they grow up.

It takes time, we  made a few video,  but out of the many video we produced I only post maybe two.

Creating the video was not the issue it was fun, depending on the activity lol.  We even made a logo my son is an pretty great artist!

But it took me days to edit it. I needed to download an editing program then I had to teach myself how to use it. I'm pretty sure if  I were a stay home mom It would of definitely  taken me maybe one day vs a few to complete.
I am  currently still working on  strategizing before moving forward with the You Tube channel.
But  you can check us out if you want just click the link below.

Click here to see My Channel What We Do

It isn't a easy task. Having an You Tube Channel is a full time job. This is why most famous you tuber are successful they input time, effort, they are consistent and they strategize to get where they are now. All the  things I didn't do for my channel.

 What are your thoughts?? hope my opinion and suggestions someone out there.

Happy Readings !:)
VQ

Wine , Wine, and more Wine!

One may say The In Between of  stressful Life is ...

White Zinfandel, Moscato,  Sweet Red or Rose Sangria...

The names of my  favorite type of wines.

Who  loves wine ? doesn't like wine??  Who hasn't tried wine??

There are a lot of variety of wine. From White to red, sweet to bitter, and dry to exotic. There's a wine for every type of taste buds.

I'll take any sweet or exotic wine please!!

By all mean I wouldnt refuse a wine unless its extremely bitter or dry. There are wine  that are untorelable.
Ive learned, there's also a  ways to dry drink these bitter and dry wine.

Tips and tricks:
1.The trick is to pair it with cheese.
So you  take a bite of cheese and follow it with a sip of wine.It will taste like wonders.

Im asume its the mixture of the salty cheese,that gives it a good taste.

2.If the cheese is not available and the is not drinkable to you add some fruit juice and fresh fruit.. make your own signature sangria. ;)

It also depends on the brand and location the wine comes from. For instance, Sutter Home and Barefoot both produce wine of type such as the white zinfandel but the taste are completely different.

The little trick that's learned thought out time.

I believe a glass of wine a day  is great for the body and mind.
But if its a really bad day  a few glasses wouldn't hurt as long as its not made into a habit. ;)

specially if  your a parent!

My favorite by far are any type of sweet or moscato.
Just incase anyone wants to send me a bottle?? lol

Guess my favorite Wine  its a blue bottle with tan label anyone want to play... ?

share with me what's your favorite wine??

Do you have a tip or trick for me??

CHEERS,
VQ

Preteens and Their Attitudes.

The In Between of  Life as a Mother with a Preteen

Who of my readers have a preteen or teenager??? Let's chat...

I recall when my child was an innocent  little boy.  Everything was all smiles, all  cute and adorable. 

There was no complaints, no  attitude , no rolling of the eye.

I understand that as a child gets older, he or she will experience  changes and discover new phase in life. 

But why??  To what point do the parents have to deal with there emotional and hormonal  changes??

I love my child, he is very intelligent, talented and gifted, but his preteen stage is getting to me. 

His attitude is what kills me. Literally!! 

It is okay that he is growing, he is going thru physical changes. I understand he train of thought will change. I get he will  have an opinion, we are all entitle to our opinion, but why the attitude? If he disagree that okay, but  does he need to raise  his voice, and  make facials expression.

Oh the facials expression!! the rolling of  the eyes, the raising eye brows and the sideway lips. Oh and especially sucking his teeth. 

Why!!!!!!!

I can be so impatient with him and I may overreact but it just gets so tiering. 

I have tired to speak to him and calmly understand him. I ask questions, I ask for him to express to me what's on his mind, but sometime I do have to become strong with him. I have to punish and discipline him.

It has been better thou, I explained to him how it was for me growing up and compare it to how I am raising him. He was shocked at some of my past experience.  Hopefully  I will get through his changes.

I don't know about other parents, but  having a preteen is stressful. My oldest is eleven years old and I have two other children I  am not looking forward to all these changes.

Let's chats, Give me examples... how can we improve as parents to deal with our preteens or teenagers.??

I look forward for your comments!!

happy reading
VQ